We are a different generation of brides. We keep our last names or hyphenate them (gasp!). We “choose a seat, not a side” and host shared gender-neutral wedding showers. We even split wedding costs down the middle.
So, what about the engagement ring?
Industry trends show that the number of women who are buying their own engagement rings has doubled in the last five years. In 2013, seven percent of women were purchasing their own ring, compared to 14 percent in the most recent reports.
Have you been thinking about going Dutch on the diamond? Are you planning to buy the engagement ring by yourself? Keep reading to learn more benefits behind buying your own ring.
Advantage #1: Weddings are more personalized than ever before and your ring is no exception.
You will be wearing your ring every single day for the rest of your life. It should bring you happiness every time you see it. You deserve to smile every time you wear it.
Do you already have a vision of the perfect ring in your mind? What is your preferred cut—and is it from a trustworthy jeweler? Does a larger carat work within your budget or do you want a smaller carat with a halo setting? Which metallic means the most to you?
The point here is that it can be exceedingly difficult to ask another human being to guess what perfect means to you. It’s about time you shop for yourself. You can find the perfect ring, try on a few different ring styles to discover what you like or custom design a piece of jewelry that’s unique to you.
Advantage #2: It’s healthy to talk budgets.
If your significant other wanted to drop a couple of grand on a rare bottle of whiskey, you’d probably discuss it first, right? If your significant other was charged $3,000-$5,000 for a medical procedure, you’d probably discuss that too, right?
Who purchases the engagement ring, and how, is a completely healthy and necessary discussion for the bride and groom to have. It’s a price tag that will affect your combined budget for years to come. It’s mature to have a good talk about each other’s income, budget, credit card debts, student loans, emergency funds, retirement goals and investments.
So many millennials have unconventional living arrangements, too. Maybe finances won’t be shared and you’re perfectly happy to split things down the middle. Perhaps your significant other just closed on your dream home and depleted his or her savings account. Maybe you were able to kick your credit card debt early and have more flexibility in your spending.
You should talk about the most stunning engagement ring, who is buying it and how you both can be smart about your budget.
Advantage #3: You still get the surprise proposal.
Many brides are afraid that picking out their ring, or buying their own ring, will rob them of their big proposal. That’s just not true. One-third of couples are hunting for the perfect ring, or designing a custom ring, together.
This is your ring. This is your moment. Your significant other can sweep you off your feet and pop the question before you go shopping because you are saying “yes” to the individual, not the ring. Or maybe you can make the purchase in advance and place the ring in his capable hands—trust that he’ll find the right moment to make it official. Queue waterproof mascara.
Advantage #4: I’m bucking all the traditions I hate.
It used to be normal for a man to order the meal for his date and pay for it. It no longer makes sense for that responsibility to fall on the man alone. Honestly, it never made sense.
Weddings and engagement rings are no different. So, why don’t we cringe when the man unilaterally gifts a piece of luxury jewelry and pays for it without consultation?
This is a perfect time to ask questions about your traditions and expectations. Many couples no longer ask fathers for permission to “take” the bride. We don’t expect the bride’s family to pay a “dowry” or cover all the costs of a wedding. If you are a bride who doesn’t want symbols of ownership or permission at your wedding, it’s not surprising that you’d like to buy your own baubles, too.
Advantage #5: Empowerment.
From Beyonce and Destiny’s Child’s “Independent Women” to Ariana Grande’s “7 Rings,” pop culture is overflowing with feminist examples where jewelry is called out as an opportunity for female empowerment. I mean, can you honestly sing along if your brightest diamond was bought by your man?
Bonus: Imagine the satisfaction of showing the most amazing engagement ring to your family and friends, then cooly explaining, “Yeah, I bought it.”
Advantage #6: An engagement ring can be a grand romantic gesture when the bride owns it.
When you purchase the engagement ring on your own, it becomes a beautiful statement to show the love of your life that you are “all in” and ready to invest in your future together.
It’s a powerful moment you can share with the groom. It demonstrates that you are planning on spending the rest of your lives together. In your mind, it’s one life, together, and you could care less who ultimately bought the ring.
Advantage #7: Treat yourself.
Insiders also note that across all diamond shoppers, women are beginning to spend more on average per ring than men ($4,400 versus $3,300). If you want the biggest, baddest diamond out there then just buy it!
You’ve done all the research, you make your own paycheck, you know what your budget and financing options are and you deserve the engagement ring of your dreams.
It may be controversial or cutting-edge to many traditional families, but there are so many reasons for brides to buy their own engagement rings. Whether you are a savvy shopper, an attentive fiance, or you are looking to light up the room with an impressive gem—now is a great time to break the tradition and buy the ring yourself!